As I sit beside my partner Andy in my food stained dressing gown, wafting in someone’s recent fart (most likely mine) and sitting in silence as we both scroll through our social media I reflect on what life was like before being in a relationship. Sometimes I think would I rather be slut dropping to Jason Derulo (LOL are his songs still played in clubs anymore?) whilst trying to figure out if I have enough cash left for chips on the way home. Then Andy asks me if I want a cup of tea and doesn’t make me watch sports programmes and I think NAH MATE, life could be not better!
If I could talk to my single self, apart from being weird and cool, but if I could then I would have some advice for me/her as well as all my single gal pals out there. Again no expert here just some things I wish I would have considered.
Having a boyfriend is not the end goal/should not be the end goal.
I was desperate to get out of my last relationship and when it ended I was relieved, not sad as I knew it has been going that way for a long time. Sometimes comfort is a strong staying power in a relationship and the unknown is a scary prospect. So when I became single, at first it was extremely exciting as I had not being single since I was 17 so I was ready to mingle. Little did I know mingling actually meant talking to boys…
The single life is great when you are surrounded by single friends who you can have single friend antics with and laugh about how stupid boys are (sorry boys but it’s true.. I’m sure boys do the same thing to girls). Then when your single friends (bitches) enter into relationships, you no longer have people to do single friends antics with. Now you have to listen to relationships goals and saying you don’t mind being a third wheel watching Netflix with them on a Friday night.. and now the prospect of a relationship seems amazing, if not necessary for survival. I would date guys who I knew I was not that interested in and had little in common with, because I wanted to be back in a relationship.
WELL single me, being in a relationship is great and lovely as long as it’s with the RIGHT PERSON otherwise it’s weeks/months spent of your life wasted when you could be doing what the hell you want! All that time wasted when I could have been binge watching friends in my Harry Potter PJs eating toast.
Enjoy your friends company on a night out
This was my number one issue when I was single. I would spend weeks planning a big night out with my friends, looking forward to it for ages and spend hours messaging detailed plans about who was wearing heels or flats (we need to know!!) When it came down to it I would spend the majority of the night looking for a strangers (preferably a 7/10, but I would settle for a 5/10) to kiss before the night was over. Rather than dancing with my friends to the spice girls or fall out boy and making tits out of ourselves, I would be looking for a boy. If I did not find sed boy, I would feel like a failure and this would ruin my night. LAME.
Now on nights out most of my friends are in relationships and we spend the time checking our phones to see if boyfriends have messaged to make sure we are having a good night. So completely ignoring each other… GREAT.
Then I realised errmmm excuse me lads what do you mean you don’t want to talk about documentaries all night long on a night out? Oh wait, almost every girl in the club is also single and probably will not sit you down for a lengthy discussion about drug wars in the UK.
Tinder, Bumble… toilet swiping
If you re-download Tinder (For the third, tenth time) then that’s OK, but lets not kid ourselves it’s not for your amusement, it’s because you are getting more and more tense about meeting your future man friend. I was guilty of spending longer than I needed on the toilet, swiping through not-so eligible bachelors and thinking SCORE when I came across someone I knew (not because I wanted them, more so because you screenshot their dating profile and sent it to your friends). There are success stories from Tinder, but you are not going to find him if you accept any of these:
– A man who takes a picture in a mirror
– a man who only has group photos
– a man who only has selfies
– a man with no photos at all
– a man who has a car as a photo.
You may find this useless, but hopefully you found this useful and interesting to read! I’d like to think I would have listened to these tips… but maybe not!
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